I actually shed a tear this morning when I read that Anita Mui had died. Heroic Trio is one of my favorite movies of all time. *sigh* I have nothing more to say...

I find this intriguing...

Oh geez... oh my.... oh god... I just watched THAT episode of Alias Season 2... if you've seen it, you know the one i'm talking about...

It aired after the Superbowl last year... the one where EVERYTHING changed... the one that just rocked my world.

GOD... how the hell have I not been watching this show first run????

If anyone wants to get me a relatively overpriced Christmas present that would make me love you forever and ever then head on over to eBay and make a bid...

I got an early Christmas present last night. My favorite band ever is Saint Etienne and they just played a couple of UK shows.

No, I didn't fly to London to see them in concert... i wish... but, they gave out cds at the show of three new Christmas songs. And thanks to the magic of the internet, I've got them now.

Lovely...

My friend Richard has suggested that we should all vote on this MarriagePoll.com in order to skew their intentionally skewed poll.

Go ye therefore...

I was just looking at my referral links and followed one back itno my archives and got a good laugh when I read this old post of mine...

I was excited because I had 3 gb of music on my harddrive...

Bwah ha ha...

Geez, I wish I could afford a 40gb iPod to replace my 30gb...

I don't have much time in my life to watch weekly TV shows, so the advent of TV on DVD has been, IMO, one of the greatest things to occur so far in the 21st Century.

The only reason that I've gotten to see 24, Sex in the City, The Sopranos, Six Feet Under and Alias is because they were released on DVD. Sure, I'm usually a season or two behind, but most of these shows are a hell of a lot more fun to watch in chunks of several hours. I also get to rewatch all of my favorite episodes of Angel and Buffy whenever I want, which is pretty nifty.

Currently, I'm on Episode 3 of Season 2 of Alias. Jesus Christ, I love that show! I'm renting the discs one by one. So, um... if anyone wants to simplify my life a bit by buying me a Christmas present... the box set is the first item on my Wish List.

I'm just saying, that's all....

Suspect Device by Greg Peters is absolutely brilliant this week. This whole episode really pisses me off, but I'm glad the mother has taken such a proactive reaction to the situation. I am rather annoyed that once more the world gets to see Louisianans acting like a bunch of backwoods hicks again though...

I mean, c'mon... isn't California the state we're supposed to be making fun of these days...

I have a little red monkey that lives on the top of my iMac's flatscreen. The other nite he fell off and into the drink I was having while surfing. I wrote a haiku about it...

Tiny red monkey
from flatscreen to cocktail glass.
Happy drunk monkey.

Well, I saw Return of the King this morning... the fastest three hours I've ever spent in my life.

I'm not gonna spoil one thing, but the consensus among everyone I saw it with was that it's everything you want it to be. And I may see it again next Wednesday...

Air... Talkie Walkie...

THERE'S A NEW AIR ALBUM COMING!!!!

and if you liked Moon Safari, you're gonna be oh so happy...

Life is good... I've scored not one, but two, separate passes to see Return of the King two separate times before it opens...

The first is next Wednesday. I'll let ya know how fabulous it is...

HELLBOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The trailer is up, yo!

Sturtle started my day off with a nice laugh today...

OMG...
it's finally out!!!!

I know what I'm gonna be reading early next week as soon as it wings it's way across the ocean to me...

Ok... here's the music I'm digging lately...

April March "Triggers"
Aqualung "Still Life"
Basement Jaxx "Kish Kash"
Belle & Sebastian "Dear Catastrophe Waitress"
Ellen Allien "Berlinette"
Fluke "Puppy"
Freeland "Now and Then"
Guther "I Know You"
Jet "Get Born"
Kylie Minogue "Body Language"
Lamb "Between Darkness and Wonder"
Lene Marlin "Another Day"
LFO "Sheath"
Ms John Soda "While Talking"
my favorite "The Happiest Days of Our Lives" and the remix album
Primal Scream "Dirty Hits" and the remix album :)
Richard X "Presents His X-Factor"
Sophie Ellis-Bextor "Shoot From the Hip"
Soviet "We are Eyes, We are Builders"
Stars "Heart"
Suede "Singles"
Zoot Woman "Useless Anyway"

Jesus Christ... when you haven't blogged in quite a while, it's really difficult to decide what you should blog about...

um... i bought a new phone this week... now if i could just figure out how to use the wireless internet features on it...

and, Thursday nite, I met another New Orleans blogger irl... the guy has some damned sexy arms... and he never seems to stop smiling... but that was probably cuz he was talking to me, right?

oh yeah... i pretty much got my heart stomped on by my now ex-boyfriend who I never told you much about... we'll get to that at some point...

WOW! Way to fucking go, Mr Gaiman! A comic book just made the New York Times bestseller lists!

Awwww... Rush Limbaugh is not having a very good day today...

I hate what our country has happened to our country in the last three years. Our current president has turned a huge budget surplus into what will soon be the largest deficit in the history of our country. He's decimated the fourth amendment. He's turned our government over to big business. He's destroyed our economy, but managed to make the wealthy even wealthier. He's gotten us into a war (and be sure it's not the last one he plans to wage) that has the rest of the world looking at us like we've gone insane. And he lies and lies and lies and we let him get away with it because we never get angry enough to rise up and stop him.

I'm not exaggerating any of this. Do some research. Use Google. Read Big Lies, The Great Unraveling, Lies... and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, Bushwhacked, Shrub, Dude, Where's My Country?, and/or Thieves in High Places. Get pissed off. Our country is being run by a president who stole an election. He absolutely does not have your best interests at heart. He is THE MAN.

Until recently, I assumed that we were going to have to suffer through another four years of his presidency, because I didn't really think the Democrats would come up with a viable candidate to challenge him in 2004. I was wrong.

I first heard about General Wesley Clark a few weeks ago. I didn't pay a lot of attention. Then I read an advance copy of Michael Moore's book, Dude, Where's My Country. In the last chapter, Moore makes a powerful argument that Clark is the man who can beat Bush. Now, I tend to think that Michael Moore is a bit of a fruitcake. I love his unabashedly liberal views, but I sometimes question the way he makes his arguments. However, he layed out Clark's views on a series of issues and it demanded my attention. Then I went online and researched Clark some more.

I'm damned excited. Clark is a candidate I can and will be extremely proud to cast my vote for next October. He's pro-choice and doesn't waffle in saying so. He's against the Patriot Act II (remember when I was talking about the fourth amendment? this is what destroyed it). He's for gun control. He's for affirmative action. He's against the war (and he's a four star general). He already has a plan for bringing some economic sanity back to our government. He's pro-enviroment. He has a vision for our country that get me damned excited. He's reclaiming the concept of patriotism from the radical right. And hey... he let a blogger interview him.

Anyways, don't take my word for any of this. Get on the Web and do some research. But, I seriously think that Clark is our best chance to beat Bush in 2004. And I think he can. And, most importantly, I think he could be a truly great president.

So, do some research, and if you agree with me, get involved. It's not too early.

And if you're in Louisiana, for god's sake, go next week and vote against Bobby Jindall for governor!

I'm one of the assistant managers mentioned in this journal posting by Neil Gaiman. What sort of scares me is that when my manager asked him to sign the book, he said something to the effect of "Drew in New Orleans? Oh, he'll want it inscribed. He's on my webpage all the time." Eek. How the hell does Neil Gaiman know who I am?

I swear to god I never threatened to stab my manager though... well.. maybe I did...

Big huggies to Jonno for finding and fixing the problem with my blog template. I swear to god i didn't do anything to it... it just decided one day to rearrange itself...

grrr...

It's Labor Day and Southern Decadence has come and gone once more. The protesters were barely a blip in the weekend. The police did a really amazing job of controlling them all weekend and their numbers were far less than they had said they would be.

And as of yesterday, it seems i'm officially dating someone... we were evidently damned cute leaning against a St Ann street midday yesterday. All of our friends were giving us knowing grins and we noticed one guy stopped across the street to photograph us.

Anyway... more on this later... trust that for now, it's very good though...

I feel that I should point out that item #66 on my Amazon Wishlist is currently on sale for $5.29.

The Hotshot is the utterly adorable boyfriend of my utterly adorable friend Clee out in San Francisco. I hate them both for being such an utterly adorable couple.

Ok... I probably actually love them to death...

Anyways, I'm adding him to my bloggy links.

ok... i added comments back in... if no one uses them... they go away soon...

I've noticed something that creeps me out. Every once in a while, my number of friends on Friendster drops.

So.... um, have I become unfriendworthy? Or did they just quit Friendster? And the sad thing is that I can never figure out who's disappeared...

I added new links over on the side to Poppy and Jeff's blogs/journals. And I edited the little pop up box thingie for Mark's. Not that the little pop up thingies work very well when you're using Safari to surf... fix that, Apple!

I stayed home from work feeling sort of icky today... and i'm bored... so... i'm playing with the colors on here today... i'm sick of the brown background and blue links...

One of my favorite New Orleanians and friends/acquaintances has started a livejournal called Dispatches from Tanganyika. We share titles inspired by John Kennedy Toole... although, mine is actually more inspired by his mother, Thelma Ducoing Toole.

and Rev Grant Storm can go get royally fucked...

I'm ready to rumble... c'mon you, Christian motherfuckers...

The Catholic Church can go fuck itself. I guess Archbishop Hughes is a lot more concerned with preventing gay people from having fun than he ever was about stopping priests in Boston from fucking little boys...

Geez... between Jonno and Poppy, i'm on my way to a new one day record for hits on my page...

now, um... stick around and read more than just the first page... and drop me an email or something and tell me how cute i am...

Goddammit, Jonno... give me some advance warning when I'm gonna get a mention, so I can actually have something halfway decently new written here...

And I suppose you're gonna be wanting me to find the new Belle & Sebastian for you next...

I just finished reading Ilium by Dan Simmons. 592 pages in less than 3 days, and I worked eight hours a day each of those days. Think I liked it much?

This book is the fucking bomb. Dan Simmons is the fucking bomb.

Simmons is a really interesting author. He writes science fiction. He writes mysteries. He writes horror novels. He writes noir thrillers. He writes fantasy. In 1986, he won the World Fantasy Award for his first novel, Song of Kali, beating out The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice and Clive Barker's first novel, The Damnation Game. In 1990, he won the British Fantasy Award and the Bram Stoker Award for his pretty fucking amazing pseudo-vampire novel, Carrion Comfort. That same year, he won the Hugo for his first science fiction novel, Hyperion.

Hyperion was the first book in a series of four novels known as the Hyperion Cantos. And they're some of the best science fiction novels ever written, especially the first two books. When I first read them, they grabbed hold of my imagination and made me realize that I could really love science fiction novels. They were full of big bold ideas but the tales were told through brilliantly crafted characters. And the whole thing was set up against a background that required you to have at least a bit of knowledge of literature to see the whole story. Keats and Chaucer echoed through the stories.

Simmons has been off writing in other genres for a few years now, but he's back to science fiction big time and he's totally on his game. ILIUM is crazy good.

Imagine a far future solar system. The moons of Jupiter are colonized by 'moravecs', organic robots who spend their downtime debating Proust and Shakespeare. Earth is home to only a few hundred thousand 'post technological' humans, who live carefree spoiled lives, but they have no knowledge of technology or literature or simple common sense anymore. And they're going to need all of that soon.

Meanwhile, the 'post humans' have disappeared. They may be on Mars. Something's on Mars. The Greek Gods are on Mars. A twentieth century scholar has found himself resurrected in this future to observe the Iliad being reenacted, or possibly unfolded for the first time... on Mars. There are also Little Green Men on Mars, who spend their lives building giant stone heads.

The Internet has grown and been modified and mutated and is a living entity. The Earth's biosphere is alive. Gods walk the Earth. Gods walk Mars. Time is being manipulated. Other worlds may be intersecting with this one.

Is your head exploding yet?

Reading this book was like shooting heroin. Buy it. Read it.

Meanwhile, I'll be waiting for OLYMPOS, the sequel due out next year.

But soon, I'll have ABSOLUTION GAP to tide me over in the meantime...

I just stumbled across a blog by a guy I've seen around New Orleans, and it seems like he's got an attractive brain in his head, so I added a link to it...

I was pleasantly surprised to find this in this morning's Times Picayune here in New Orleans.

Who says the South is behind the times? Not that New Orleans is really part of the South...

grrr... Jonno says I have to blog this...

So... I went to dinner tonight with this boy who I may or may not have a crush on. Afterwards, we stopped by my apartment and for some reason we decide to watch the J-Lo episode of South Park on my computer.

I start to look for the file and realize that I don't necessarily want him to see the porn files I have on my computer. So, I remember the episode is called "Fat Head" and something. I search my harddrive for the word "fat" to find it, thinking it'll be a bit safer that way.

And what is the first thing that pops up as a search result? "Big Fat Cock Piss in Mouth.mpg."

*sigh* I need to delete some files from my computer...

Gee... is it just me? Or is my blog a halfway decent read again?

Poppy Z. Brite was one of the bright lights of the horror fiction genre back in the early to mid 1990s. Her first novel, LOST SOULS was a neogothic decadent tale of vampires set mainly in New Orleans. It was soaked in liquor and blood, dripping with a an exorbitant excess of lush adjectives and descriptive imagery. The characters were big and bold and demanded your attention. The author herself describes it as purple prose.

But, it worked. Boy, did it work. It earned her a somewhat rabid following that she has to this day. At the time when it came out, I thought that I had embraced this book with a passion. With time, I discovered that there were other people out there who felt their lives had been changed by this book. At the heart of the novel was Nothing, a young teen who felt he was always outside of what was normal. Over the course of the novel he discovers a dark corner of the world where he belongs for the first time. And how many teenagers couldn't relate to this?

I recently met and sort of briefly almost dated a 19 year old gay scenester who had just moved to New Orleans. I actually met him in a bar on his first night in the city. I spotted him across the bar at Good Friends and was compelled to cross the bar and find out the story behind this tall thin rail of a boy with his skinny tie and big dark smudges of eyeliner. On our second date, conversation turned to literature. When I asked if he had read Poppy, he sort of mumbled and said, "Yeah, but I can't talk about her." I, of course, pressed onward and he responded that LOST SOULS was a novel that he had loved so much for so long that it sort of embarrassed him. It had been his manifesto of sorts, a guiding force in his life.

A year later came DRAWING BLOOD. It was on the surface a tale of a haunted house but underneath a surprisingly compelling gay love story was what drew most of my attention. DRAWING BLOOD was made up of bits of the subculture of the times... underground comics and computer hacking for the most part, and again it was dark and lush imagery that dominated. The thing that stood out about this novel in contrast to LOST SOULS to me was that I cared about the characters. In LOST SOULS, I found the characters fascinating, but ultimately unlikeable. I might want to be them, but I wouldn't want to know them. Zach and Trevor were characters that spoke a bit more to my heart. I wanted them to succeed, I wanted them to be together.

Three years passed before we saw the next novel from Poppy. EXQUISITE CORPSE marked a big step forward for her. Still decadent and perhaps darker than anything she'd written before, this novel brought us an author who was growing into a more literate style. Set once more fully in New Orleans, it told of the passionate coming together of two serial killers. But it was also the story a young Vietnamese teen who may become their next victim and his former lover, an angry writer living with AIDS. It was an explosive dynamic in-your-face novel that seduced you with the beauty of dissected corpses. But it also explored the inner worlds driving all of these characters.

I thought it was big and bold and brilliant. Unfortunately, her publisher didn't agree with me. They refused to publish the novel. It was too much for them, despite the fact that they were a 'horror' publisher. Her UK publisher followed shortly behind, saying that the main characters were too 'admirable.' Other, more forward thinking, publishers stepped in and saved the day.

Next came a biography of Courtney Love. Yeah, that's right... a biography of Courtney Love. I think Poppy had some fun and made bank from this venture. I've never read it though, despite being fans of both of them.

Next came a novel set in the world of the movie, THE CROW. It was called THE LAZARUS HEART. I loathe this movie. Always have. Always will. So, I didn't purchase or read this novel when it came out. The fact that I liked Poppy's work couldn't outweigh my utter contempt for the movie. So, I skipped it.

Well, a couple of years later, I was looking for something to read and I thought, "oh hell.. I'll give it a try." Imagine my surprise to discover that I LOVED this book. Set once more in, you guessed it, New Orleans, the book simply used the background idea of THE CROW film as a backbone for it's story. It was far superior to the movie (and, IMO, the comic book).

THE LAZARUS HEART was a terribly tragic story with some of the most memorable characters that Poppy had ever put into a novel. Once more, the city of New Orleans itself was a character, dark lush gothic and oozing with excess. It's a far better novel than the franchise it's a part of would ever allow you to believe possible.

A couple of years later came a novella, PLASTIC JESUS. Imagine... a world where John Lennon and Paul McCartney were lovers instead of just bandmates. I'm not particularly fond of the Beatles. So, I found that I wasn't particularly fond of this story.

Another short novel appeared this past year, THE VALUE OF X. Something had changed. Everything had changed. The main characters are Gary and Rickey. Teenage residents of New Orleans. But, now the settings have changed. Instead of a gothic decadent French Quarter, the story is set mainly in the lower Ninth Ward of the city. There's not a drop of eyeliner or an all black wardrobe in sight. The streets are tough, the dialogue true to the distinctive 'yat' dialect spoken on them. The characters are two best friends who are beginning to realize the depths of their love for one another while also discovering the passion that will guide their life... food.

It's an ever so sweet, but never cloyingly so, story about real life... about discovering your place in the world. Instead of the fevered rush her earlier novels gave me, this book made my heart ache. I fell in love with these two boys, but also with their families, the streets they roamed and their city. It's the truest depiction of the real New Orleans that Poppy had written up to this point.

Except that's not quite true. THE VALUE OF X is a prequel to another longer novel called LIQUOR. Poppy wrote LIQUOR before she wrote TVOX.

So, where is this novel called LIQUOR? It hasn't been published yet.

PLASTIC JESUS and TVOX were published by Subterranean Press. A small press as opposed to one of the major publishers. That means they were sold at a higher price and printed in smaller numbers. Poppy didn't want LIQUOR to be a small press book. It's her next big book. And she finished it over 2 years ago.

So, again, where is it?

Well, the stupid publishers wouldn't buy it at first. She's a horror novelist, they said. This isn't a horror novel, they said.

Well, finally Three Rivers Press came along and had the good sense to purchase it. So, here's LIQUOR, coming to a bookstore near you in March 2004.

Well, I just happen to be a bookstore manager in New Orleans. And Poppy just happens to be a regular customer of mine. So, guess what I've already had the opportunity to read?

Only one of the best novels ever written about the city of New Orleans. Gary and Rickey have grown up... mostly. Gary is now G-Man, a nickname he earned working in the kitchens of New Orleans restaurants. They now live in uptown New Orleans and LIQUOR is the story of how they come to open their own restaurant.

The characters are the most realistic portrayals of New Orleanians in a novel since CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES. The dialogue is spot on. And New Orleans is, simply, New Orleans... a city of eccentricities and a city in a full on love affair with food and liquor.

Gone completely is the early sensual 'purple prose', replaced with a lean stripped down style of writing that exposes us to a new sensuality. Poppy no longer needs to romanticize the city of New Orleans through adjectives. She's found a better way. The exotic nature of New Orleans is layed out to us this time through the characters, through both their passions and their simplicities.

And the food... oh, the food... There's probably no other city in this country who worships food more than we New Orleanians. And every note regarding this love affair in the book rings completely true. It's not just about the wonderful descriptions of dish after dish in the book that more than once had my tongue protruding slightly from my mouth in lust. It's also about the way the characters, from most minor to the most central, all lead lives in which food is a defining factor of their lives. Food and liquor. And that's New Orleans... food... liquor.

No, I'm not going to tell you any details about the novel, except that it's marvelous. It takes Poppy to a whole new level. You'll fall in love with Rickey and G-Man. If you don't already love New Orleans, you'll fall in love with it. You'll be ravenously hungry time and time again as you read the book.

LIQUOR. March 2004. Make a note...

Grrr...

First there was Friendster... now comes the inevitable opposite...

Yeah... you guessed it... I also turned him onto the Soft Pink Truth as well...

And, of course, Walter turned me onto all of these bands...

Ok... since I earned another link from Jonno this week and it's music related and you've possibly come here to sit in awe of my mighty musical mentoring skills... here's what I'm listening to lately...

Mew "Half the World is Watching"

2Raumwohnung "In Wirklich"

Adult. "Anxiety Always"

Alpinestars "White Noise"

Black Box Recorder "Passionoia"

The Dandy Warhols "Welcome to the Monkey House"

Death in Vegas "Scorpio Rising"

Erlend Oye "Unrest"

Goldfrapp "Black Cherry"

Homy "Music Box"

ok... jesus christ... i'll continue this in a bit.. the sun just came out!

Earlier this week, I got a phone call from a friend of mine asking me to drop by the nightclub he manages. I was sort of iffy about leaving my house until he said the magic words, "Elimidate is filming here tonight."

I left burnt rubber marks on my street.

Elimidate is one of those guilty pleasures that I think just about everyone indulges in, on an at least irregular basis. I don't really watch tv anymore, but I used to eat episodes of this show like popcorn.

So, I went by his club and sat at the downstairs bar for a bit drinking Citron. They were filming in the upstairs of the bar and it was closed to the public. But, finally, my friend appeared and he brought me up the stairs to watch.

So... Elimidate has been forever ruined for me. I know that you, gentle reader, will have a hard time believing this... but, it's very very very fake! I arrived just in time to watch the guy make his final decision between the last two girls. And there was an amazing amount of coaching going on from the show's staff.... "ok, let it all out when he chooses... if he doesn't choose you, make your feelings well known." After the decision was made, they reshot the couple telling each other why they chose one another about five times. The little kiss between them you'll see on the show? That could be the first one they exchanged, or the sixth...

And you know how it always looks like they're in a busy club or restaurant when they make their decision? And you know it's busy, cuz there's a crowd of fun people behind them carrying on conversations and having fun? Well, you'll see that on this episode as well... except the crowded bar consisted of about twenty lame ass mother fuckers fake talking just to have the opportunity to be in the background on a tv show. There was no "fun" crowded club. It was empty and closed to the public. The crowd consisted of a bunch of fake talking idiots and the crew.

A few other people were hanging out watching the show tape. I overheard this really cute blond chick talking about the fact that she was going to be a contestant on the show the next week. So, of course, I had to engage her in conversation about this. Imagine this... the casting people had told her, "ok, you're going to be the bitch." Grrrr. They tell them how to act as well?

The blond chick was pretty blase about the whole thing. She said she had no intention of being the bitch. And that she was hoping that the guy on her episode would be a guy she'd been dating, who was also going to be on the show...

Y'all... tv is fake!

Oh well... a couple of days later my friend who manages the club told me that the blond chick had asked about me... she thought I was cute...

I'm fucking cursed. It's been a month since it was sunny on one of my days off of work. And my fucking tan is fucking fading. Fuck.

It's about damned time!

Seriously, folks, this is huge! Although, I think Scalia needs to burn in hell for his comments. Nice to know we have such an outspoken bigot on the Supreme Court.

So... anyone up for some LEGAL fun tonite? :)

Ok... i'm getting traffic from Jonno, so I supppose I should blog...

The Knife is indeed the fucking bomb. Deep Cuts has been on repeat play on my iPod for a couple of weeks. Although, I think Jonno is smoking crack to call anything "electroclash's last gasp." I obviously need to share more music with the boy. But, I also think labelling and subcategorizing music is a dangerous and subjective thing. My newest obsessive band is 2-raumwohnung, a German band I'd hate to have to classify. The simple fact that they make songs in German sound so lovely gets them big points. Oh, and due credit must go to my friend Walter for turning me onto The Knife... and turning me onto about 40 kabillion other bands... All hail Walter, King of Norwegian Pop!

Recently...

my dad died.

i went to San Francisco.

i met Mark and instantly fell (temporarily?) madly in lust.

i bought a whole new wardrobe.

soon... i'll fill in the spaces between these for ya... some of it's still a bit raw...

My dad went on morphine today.

I haven't blogged about this, at least not lately, but my father is dying. He's in end stage renal failure complicated by the fact that his circulatory system is shutting down. Right now, he's hospitalized a little over an hour from where I live, but he and my mother are making plans to return to their home to make their way through what remains.

We really don't know how much time remains. It could be days. It could be weeks.

The circulatory problems have resulted in a lack of bloodflow to his extremities, which means that his feet, lower legs and other parts of his body are becoming gangrenous. And gangrene is extremely painful. The doctors tell us a time may come soon when his entire existence is pain. Unending pain. Screaming pain.

He's completely bedridden. He'd be completely helpless if not for the constant attention of my mother, who doesn't leave his side except for minutes at a time.

Due to the renal failure, he currently undergoes dialysis three times a week. It seems to be becoming less effective with each treatment though. To continue dialysis if my parents go home is going to require ambulance transport.

He could choose to discontinue the dialysis, knowing that it would lead, in a matter of days, to death. And this may be a way, at some near point, for him to escape the pain.

I live in interesting times. I move from detached stoicism to deep depression to confusion many times each day. I find myself looking for distraction, pushing emotions deep within so I can function. And I slowly find myself making peace with his imminent disappearance from my life.

It's an odd thing to wish for your parent to die soon because you've seen their quality of life diminish to a point from which you can see no possible return. I realize that many other people have gone through this same thing. I'm not unique.

But it's hard...

Two weeks from today, I'll be in glorious and much much cooler (weatherwise) San Francisco for nearly a week. I'll be seeing him, perhaps him and getting to spend time for the first time ever with him.

Whoo fucking hoo...

I'm terrible... I couldn't help myself... When the Computer Shoppe in Metairie opened this morning, I was the first person in the door and I quickly left with a 30 GB iPod. A report will follow soon... Must go play with it now...

I hereby apologize to my friends who went to this morning's feature of X2 with me for all of the bouncing up and down in my seat that I did.

Sweet fucking jesus, that movie was a complete fanboy wetdream... me am happy... oh so very very happy...

Now bring on Dark Phoenix! (and can we have some more of nearly naked Colossus, please...)

WANT NOW!

and once more on the the penis blog project...

#21... I like your belt...

In case you were wondering... this is the sexiest album ever recorded.
Seriously...

Disc Two of this compilation has been the background soundtrack for some of the greatest sex I've ever had...

Although, this is a close second...

to answer this question...

ME!!!! well... the 22nd thru the 27th...

Dave arrives in New Orleans one week from today for a 2 week visit. And I am very happy about this.

Yay.

Ok... so remember how last week I was feeling all weird cuz some boy had pretty eyes.... well, a friend of mine went back to the Country Club the next day and saw said boy having a 3 way in the showers... which turned into a four way when they invited this hideous boy who I call "Missy" (cuz he looks like a lesbian I know named Missy) over to join them...

feh...

once more on the penis blog project...

#20 if you're reading this.... call me!

Ok... that last post sounded mean and I really didn't mean for it to... when discussing the penis blog project i should have pointed out that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a big scary dick and they certainly have their place (and it's a very nice place)....

now i'm thinking that last sentence just sounds wrong...

Hmmm. Maybe I'm just having a spectacularly unhorny evening, but most of the pictures in the penis blog project sort of scare me... where are all the bloggers with the pretty peni?

RELOADED!

RELOADED!

RELOADED!

RELOADED!

RELOADED!

RELOADED!

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I am SO there, like 3 times the first day...

I'm currently in a weird mood. Yesterday, I had one of those little moments in life that can be scary.

I was at the Country Club getting some sun and hanging out with my friend, Gray. I notice this incredibly cute guy come into the pool area. I'm in the pool and after a bit, he gets into the pool as well and starts swimming the length of the pool. On one of his turns he surfaced next to me and looked over and gave me the most beautiful smile I've ever seen in my life. And it felt like lightning hit me.

He swims for a bit more and then gets out of the pool, giving me a glance once in a while, but a normal everyday just looking around kind of glance.

A bit later, I go to the outside bar for a drink and he's sitting at it. I have to ask him for an ashtray and a napkin cuz they're both by him on the bar. So, we start talking. And talk for about half an hour. And I'm pretty much drowning in the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. We talk literature and travel and alternative theater. His name is Jason and he's an actor in Los Angeles on a week's vacation in the Big Easy. He tells me about a play he was just in called "The Short Bus", the title alone of which makes me laugh. He says the last great book he read was Jean-Paul Sartre's Nausea, which made him laugh and cry and shook his world up. He mentions the boyfriend word in passing, but I'm not sure if it's current or past tense. Gray joins us in conversation midway through.

I mention a play I'm going to see that nite and he indicates that he may go see it as well. I think of offering my phone number but never do it. He goes to the bathroom. I get back into the pool. He sits at the bar for a bit more and then tells Gray and I that he's leaving, but tells me perhaps he'll see me at the play. As he sits tying his shoes on a chair at the edge of the pool, I'm thinking he's one of the most attractive people I've ever seen in my life. Oddly enough, Gray later says he was just 'ok'.

After he leaves, Gray says he thinks the guy was attracted to me. I think perhaps he was interested in Gray. Who knows...

Circumstances change and I don't make it to the play. My friend I was going with bails on me. My dog makes an untimely escape into the neighborhood. And too much time passes for me to make it there.

So, today, I wonder... did he go to the play? Was he looking for me? If we had met up and chatted what would've happened? Would it have gone badly? Could this have been 'the one'? Why did one look from someone so completely freak me out? I don't think of myself as the 'struck by lightning' type of guy anymore... perhaps I'm wrong about that...

Regardless, I just wish I'd gotten to spend a few more minutes in the company of a sweet magnetic guy.

Wow... so... whoever the bellsouth.net person is that read 89 pages of my blog today... drop me a line...

I highly recommend that you immediately purchase The Devil You Know by Poppy Z. Brite.

It's a really tight collection of short stories. Way way well written.

But best of all... she freaking thanked me on the acknowledgements page!!!!!!

One of my favorite authors thanked ME in one of her books. Wow wow wow.

Why did she thank me? Cuz a character in the story A Season in Heck relates a story about a past experience of his involving absinthe and emergency rooms... sound familiar? Heh.

i don't blog much lately, do i...

Quick Facts...

Current Favorite CD: Mew Half the World is Watching

Reading Right Now: Darwin's Children by Greg Bear
The Devil You Know by Poppy Z Brite

Last Concert I Saw: Sigur Ros at the House of Blues this past weekend

Last Boy I Slept With: Cute 22 year old emo boy from Little Rock that I met out clubbing out after the Sigur Ros concert... he had me from the moment he said he cried through the whole concert....

The Line of Polity by Neal Asher was released today in the UK! Which means it'll be about another week before I can read it....

oh, fiddlesticks...

Black Cherry by Goldfrapp is coming!!!!!!!

(and of course I already have it... and worship it...)

Having experienced AudioBlogger on a couple people's websites... i think it's about the lamest thing ever to happen to blogging... or maybe the people using it are just using it in lame ways...

or maybe i'm just cranky...

...she blamed excesses on the American dream...

One of my favorite (cheesy?) eighties songs is Imagination by Belouis Some, so I was sorta amused to discover that this chick named Harry has recorded a rockin' cover of it...

And I kinda like it...

Pain Killer by Turin Brakes is absolutely the hottest song I've heard in eons...

it's like liquid sex in my earphones...

I guess if there were ever a time for me to start blogging regularly again... Mardi Gras would be the time...

Saturday night, I walked four blocks down the street and watched Sparta and Pegasus with my new next door neighbors (whose names I can't remember and am too embarrassed to ask...). We froze our asses off in pretty strong winds, but had a decent enuff time. They weren't the most exciting parades ever... but there were beads and doubloons flying through the air and a good bit of merriment in the air...

I got up early yesterday and discovered that the weather had taken a turn for the beautiful. It was absolutely perfect all day... I dressed super bummy in ratty old Chucks, the most comfortable shoes on earth, chinos and a sleeveless t-shirt. I hated exposed my pale arms but it's time to try and start getting some color back into my skin... especially before next weekend. So, my friend Jonathan ran by and picked me up and we met several other friends (Robert, Kris, et al) in front of Lafitttes and decided to head to Fiorella's, where I wallowed in decadence by dining on a shrimp po-boy (dressed), fries and a Bloody Mary.

I got another Bloody Mary to go and we headed to St Ann to watch Barkus. Barkus is always one of my favorite events of Carnival. A day with the Quarter filled with people who love dogs. Dog people are good people.

I ran into a surly Jonno and met his weekend guest. I ditched my other friends for a bit and watched the parade with these two. I had a very good omen for Mardi Gras happen during the parade.... I was looking at Jonno, talking to him and a string of green beads landed perfectly over my head and around my neck. Jonno split after a bit and I wound up hanging out with... um... oh geez... it starts with a J... um... that guy who's also known as Frank Green... Very sweet guy and about fifteen different kinds of adorable. And he should totally call in sick next weekend and come back to party with us some more...

I hooked back up with my friends and the rest of the afternoon/evening (until ten p.m.) was a big blur of bingo at Oz, drinks at Lafittes and the Pub and crazed running about the streets. I was aggressively hit on by a cute asian boy from L.A. (who called me 'cute blond tattoo boy') and a cute latino from New York... and I broke one of my rules and flirted (back) with a bartender... until finally we had dinner at a grocery story/deli on Bourbon around ten p.m. before heading home to crash.

And I had to get up at 6 a.m. this morning to work.... oh joy...

Tonight... the krewes of Pygmalion and Oshun will hit St Charles... and I guess I'll be there...

Ok! Time to play another guessing game...

Jonno has a pop up window in this post, under the link "Satyricon Ball".

I've slept with one person in one of those pictures... so... which one was it?

So... since music is most of what I talk about here... if you're wondering what the Top of My Pops is lately, here's what I can't get enough of lately.

Turin Brakes Ether Song
Cat Power You Are Free
The Cardigans Long Gone Before Daylight
Erlend Oye Unrest
Postal Service Give Up

Aren't I cool??? :)

"Happy birthday Zipper! I bought the cheapest thing on your list! Love Dave."

A UPS truck just pulled up a few minutes ago to deliver this to me.

Dave, my ex of quite a few years now, sent it to me. It's absolutely the most special gift I'll get this year. Why? Cuz Dave is a Peace Corps volunteer living in a shack in the Dominican Republic. And I know he barely has enuff cash to buy himself his daily meal of beans and some odd Dominican fruit and/or vegetable. (Unless the neighbors have used his yard to kill a goat again... i assume they share the meat when they do that...)

So, um... thanks, Dave!!

Oh... and if you're wondering why he calls me "Zipper"... the story is here.

Oh sweet Jesus.... can May 2nd get here soon enough???

The first one was really good... this one is SO gonna be the bomb...

HINT HINT

My birthday is coming soon...

OMG... i hate this.... Blogger just ate a really long post I had just written...

Now... I just have to wonder if Mark is smitten with the music... or with me... ???

I'm thinking both...

oops... i forgot Zwan...

Someone who had read my blog recently commented to me that music must be very important to me.

It is. And on that note, here are the Artists currently loaded in my iPod (this is gonna be long):

The 6ths
Adam Rickitt
Alison Moyet
Aluminum Group
The American Analog Set
Aqualung
The Ark
Beck
Beth Orton
Billie Holliday
bis
Bjork
Broadcast
A Camp
The Cardigans
Cat Power
Charlie Parker
Cheap Glue
Cloudberry Jam
Coldplay
Craig David
Death Cab for Cutie
Death in Vegas
Dntel
Dot Allison
Electric Soft Parade
Erlend Oye
FC Kahuna
Felix da Housecat
Floraline
Frost
Frou Frou
Goldfrapp
GusGus
The Hives
Interpol
Ivy
Jamiroquai
Jay-Jay Johanson
Kings of Convenience
Komeda
Kylie Minogue
Ladytron
Lali Puna
Lighthouse Family
Massive Attack
Miniflex
Missy Elliot
Morcheeba
Ms John Soda
Mum
The Notwist
Peaches
The Postal Service
The Raveonettes
Richard Ashcroft
Rinocerose
Royksopp
Saint Etienne
The Sea & the Cake
Sigur Ros
Simian
Sleater Kinney
Sneaker Pimps
Sondre Lerche
Soviet
Strawberry Alarmclock
Tahiti 80
Tatu
Telepopmusick
Le Tigre
Zoot Woman

Make of this what you will...

Heh... in case you didn't think i was a bit of a freak... I'm way excited about this movie.

Right now... it's all about Walter! He knows who he is... My newly bright orange iPod and I worship him.

While I'm praising things... I just updated my system to Jaguar and as a result can now make use of iChat, iCal, iSync and Safari.

Add that to the fact that I found out last week that Apple had retroactively extended the warranties on iPods to a year, which meant that I could get my broken one repaired for $29.95 in shipping costs. Four days after notifying them that I needed repairs, I have a brand new replacement iPod.

And a friend told me about XNap, which has dramatically improved my ability to download music, enabling me to now have the new CD by Massive Attack and one I've been wanting for a while by the Norwegian band Frost.

All of the software I mentioned above is amazing. I'm in Apple heaven. C'mon you Windows users... Switch!. This cutie can inspire you.

I've never thought of myself as someone who particularly liked musicals, but I really loved Moulin Rouge! last year. But still... I really didn't think I'd like Chicago very much because, well... it's a stereotypically gay kinda thing to like...

But...

I went to see it last nite with a friend... and Jesus Christ! It's wonderful. I've also never really thought much about Renee Zellweger as an actress. But, boy, I have to admit there's some serious talent in that little woman. She was phenomenal. If she doesn't get an Oscar nomination... well... she will... I could go see Chicago again... and that scares me.

I'm also really really wanting to see this movie now. I thought it looked good before seeing Chicago, but now I just gotta see it...

So, today, I finally made a back up CD-rom of the 135 rare Saint Etienne songs that I have stored on my computer.

Obsessed, me?

How the heck have I missed out on knowing about Happy Tree Friends? (link via the Poppy Z Brite phorum)

Sweet Fucking Jesus!!