All right. Assuming there's anyone who hasn't by now
given up on checking Drew's blog every week or so in
the vain hope that he might have written something
more substantial than a vague reference to some
obscure British TV show that no one in their right
mind but Drew himself would watch, I have taken it
upon myself to write this, On Tender Hooks' first ever
guest entry.

Now, I happen to know Drew well enough to know that he
has a much more interesting life than one might expect
from the current dearth of blog entries. Let's not
forget this is the man who once earned the nickname
"Zipper" and inspired a character in a Poppy Z. Brite
story just by taking a sip of Absinthe. He just
doesn't take the time to write about the good stuff
anymore. Here's another example: last week he came
home from a trip to Lafayette and found an authentic
letter handwritten by Andrew Jackson and encased in
plastic on his back porch. Yes, Andrew Jackson, the
president on the 20 dollar bill. On his back porch.
And upon investigation it turned out that the
ownership of said document was in dispute. It was
quite a story. Most bloggers would have turned it into
a multi-entry epic. Does our Drew even consider this
worthy of mentioning? Apparently not.

At least there have been a few sporadic posts about
the new boyfriend, even if they have been sorely
lacking in details. Which is a shame, because the new
boyfriend is causing Drew to act uncharacteristically
goofy and lovesick, which entertains me to no end, and
it seems like a shame not to share more of this sort
of thing with his readers. I'll have to leave that
much to him, though, but I will say for the record
that I think the new boyfriend is a great guy, he's
good for Drew, and I couldn't be happier that they
found each other. Now if Drew would just stop smoking,
everything would be great. Meanwhile, here's 5 facts
about Drew you may or may not know:

1. He makes the most incredible macaroni and cheese
I've ever eaten, although he hasn't done so in quite a
while.

2. He worked in a New Age bookstore for years, even
though he's never believed in any of that horseshit.

3. He was once planning to get a tattoo of Superman's
dog, Krypto, but I stole his idea and did it first.

4. The one thing he did that drove me insane when we
lived together was when he was reading a magazine or
newspaper, he would loudly say "Huh... hmmm... how
interesting" over and over until I would finally snap
and say "Well spit it the fuck out!!!"

5. He hates camping. Or anything outdoorsy for that
matter.

All right, so the blog has been updated, for now.
Watch for future installments as time allows. And be
sure to read my blog, "I Just Want To Be A Tugboat
Captain", which you can link to on the left (under
"Dave").