Dave here.
So Mardi Gras has been relatively quiet and uneventful so far, at least for me, which is why this weekmy own blog features some old stuff I wrote about Haiti last year instead of stories about doing mushrooms, befriending a morbidly obese drag queen named "Liz Trailer" who pumped tequila shots down my throat from a big green bug-poison sprayer. and riding a vintage silver Huffy Stingray down Rampart Street with no pants on. Not that I did anything like that last time I was here for Mardi Gras.

One of the things that's been nice about Mardi Gras is that I've been using Drew's little circle of friends as a sort of surrogate posse since I came back to New Orleans, and they've all been nice enough to tolerate my presence for the most part. It's always a lot more fun to walk into a bar when you know there's a chance you might actually know someone there.

Anyway, it's noon, I'm getting out of work early, and I need to come up with a Mardi Gras costume from scratch between now and tomorrow morning. Preferably something made up entirely of household items I already have in the junk drawer in my kitchen. You may laugh, but I once won a bar tab for a costume I made from nothing but duct tape and a headlamp...

All right, first of all, Drew has been very remiss in not mentioning that House Of Flying Daggers may not be the best kung-fu movie ever made, but it may very well be the best movie title ever. Second, the Krewe De Vieux parade was apeshit crazy fun even though it was way too short. Any parade where straight guys in jockstraps invite me to feel their bare asses is okay by me. Drew was so engrossed in the goings-on that I don't think he even mentioned the new boyfriend once all evening.

Really? Jefferson Davis? I could have sworn you said Andrew Jackson. I guess that story wasn't as interesting as I thought. But the important thing is that you should stop smoking.

ok... for the record... it was Jefferson Davis, not Andrew Jackson...

All right. Assuming there's anyone who hasn't by now
given up on checking Drew's blog every week or so in
the vain hope that he might have written something
more substantial than a vague reference to some
obscure British TV show that no one in their right
mind but Drew himself would watch, I have taken it
upon myself to write this, On Tender Hooks' first ever
guest entry.

Now, I happen to know Drew well enough to know that he
has a much more interesting life than one might expect
from the current dearth of blog entries. Let's not
forget this is the man who once earned the nickname
"Zipper" and inspired a character in a Poppy Z. Brite
story just by taking a sip of Absinthe. He just
doesn't take the time to write about the good stuff
anymore. Here's another example: last week he came
home from a trip to Lafayette and found an authentic
letter handwritten by Andrew Jackson and encased in
plastic on his back porch. Yes, Andrew Jackson, the
president on the 20 dollar bill. On his back porch.
And upon investigation it turned out that the
ownership of said document was in dispute. It was
quite a story. Most bloggers would have turned it into
a multi-entry epic. Does our Drew even consider this
worthy of mentioning? Apparently not.

At least there have been a few sporadic posts about
the new boyfriend, even if they have been sorely
lacking in details. Which is a shame, because the new
boyfriend is causing Drew to act uncharacteristically
goofy and lovesick, which entertains me to no end, and
it seems like a shame not to share more of this sort
of thing with his readers. I'll have to leave that
much to him, though, but I will say for the record
that I think the new boyfriend is a great guy, he's
good for Drew, and I couldn't be happier that they
found each other. Now if Drew would just stop smoking,
everything would be great. Meanwhile, here's 5 facts
about Drew you may or may not know:

1. He makes the most incredible macaroni and cheese
I've ever eaten, although he hasn't done so in quite a
while.

2. He worked in a New Age bookstore for years, even
though he's never believed in any of that horseshit.

3. He was once planning to get a tattoo of Superman's
dog, Krypto, but I stole his idea and did it first.

4. The one thing he did that drove me insane when we
lived together was when he was reading a magazine or
newspaper, he would loudly say "Huh... hmmm... how
interesting" over and over until I would finally snap
and say "Well spit it the fuck out!!!"

5. He hates camping. Or anything outdoorsy for that
matter.

All right, so the blog has been updated, for now.
Watch for future installments as time allows. And be
sure to read my blog, "I Just Want To Be A Tugboat
Captain", which you can link to on the left (under
"Dave").

ok, guys... really, i'm sorry... the deal is...

i'm madly passionately utterly immersed in love... i'm crazy about this guy.. he's crazy about me... and lately I just don't feel much need to write about much of anything cuz I guess I'm just too busy living my life...

i'll try once in a while, i swear... i totally need to let you know what the albums of 2004 were, i know... but... seriously...

i'm mad crazy immersed in a total love situation...

i have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay...

Merry Fucking White Christmas!

I woke up this morning ready to travel to hang out with my family for Christmas Day only to discover that the interstate system was closed due to sleet and icy overpasses. But... I got to spend the day with my boyfriend and his family who took me in for the day.

And... for the first time in fifty years... it snowed in New Orleans for Christmas. It's amazing how much sheer joy this created for everyone in the city. It was impossible not to have a huge honking smile in your face in this city today.

I'm gonna go collapse on my bed and snuggle with my guy now... hope you're all having as beautiful a day as I had...

Look at all the cake and presents, Fiona

Oh geez... Spooks... what you do to me... I seriously don't think I've ever seen a more shocking or emotionally draining scene in any other tv show ever than i just saw in the last episode of this season of Spooks...

oh geez... I need tissues...

The weird thing about television is that just when a show has gone from a creative peak to an absolute nadir is that it can then shock you midway through it's third season and have one of it's best episodes ever.

Spooks aka MI5, in the US on A&E, is one of my guilty pleasures. The first two seasons were completely riveting. The third started rather well, but then went limp and boring. Two of the three main actors had decided to move on and the storytelling seemed to limp along until they were disposed of, but... they're gone now. And the episode eight was right up there with the best of the first two seasons. I'll be holding my breath until next week...

Gee, I'm sorry, you pretentious Pitchfork indie prat, but everyone I know that heard this album loves it. You obviously don't 'get' it. Too straight perhaps? Too afraid to like bubblegum pop music maybe?

And Bubble Pop Electric is the song I keep skipping over cuz I find it annoying and somewhat out of place on an otherwise fantastic pop album.

Meh meh meh...

WANT WANT WANT!!!

So... a little over a month ago, I mentioned going to my friend Kris' birthday party in Lafayette. I briefly mentioned meeting someone new at the party.

A couple of weeks ago, he came to New Orleans and spent a really incredible evening with me, going to dinner, attending a play, going out for drinks and meeting quite a few of my friends over the course of the evening. A really great nite, all in all.

This past weekend, I spent four days in Lafayette. And I didn't stay with Kris & Victor.

Over the course of the weekend, I found myself not only falling very hard for a guy, but for his culture and his city as well. This is potentially big. It's one of those things that comes along when you're not expecting it at all. It's one of those things where you find someone who's completely outside of the mold of your expectations of what you think you might be looking for, but, somehow, it's also ten times better than what you thought you were looking for.

What I know is that it's exactly 25 days until I get to see him again. I know I need to change my cellular plan and probably my provider, based on the number of cellular minutes I've burned in the past two days. I know that I've always advised all of my friends against relationships that involve distance, but I'm learning that sometimes the heart thinks otherwise. I know that I'm feeling things inside my heart and my brain that I haven't felt in ages.

I know that I want to try to make the best of this. I know that this situation wants me to make the best of myself.

I know that right now... I'm smiling.

The video for Mosh has me reevaluating my feelings about Eminem a bit... although I wish he'd gotten it out there in time to perhaps actually encouraged a few people to have registered to vote when they still could have...

anyways... Fuck Bush indeed...

This is the hottest sexiest sweetest thing I've read in a very long time... (thanks to PJ for the heads up...)

omg... and I got the new STARS album, Set Yourself on Fire, today!

It's FUCKING AMAZING, as I knew it would be. You can order from the Arts & Crafts Store. It's only out in Canada so far... but it's cheap!

I need to write about this past weekend also...

My friend, Kris, had his 40th birthday party this past weekend in Lafayette. Dave (the ex) and I drove over in the midst of the tropical depression to attend. Kris and his significant other, Victor, were incredibly gracious hosts. When I went to print the directions to drive there, I discovered they also contained a confirmation number for a hotel room that they had reserved and prepaid for us, along with a note stating there could be no discussion about the fact the room being paid. (Hah... like I'd argue about that!)

The drive over with Dave was quite nice. He just got back to New Orleans this week after spending a few months travelling, reaquainting himself with the States after his two years in the Dominican Republic as a Peace Corps volunteer. He's thinking of settling back in NOLA for a while and attending nursing school. An idea that I think is fucking fantastic.

So, we got to Lafayette and settled in our rooms just in time for the shuttle to arrive to pick us up. Yep... the shuttle. Victor drove over and picked up those of us who were staying in the hotel.

The party itself was a fucking blast. I really had no idea that I'd be seeing so many faces from my past, friends from 10-20 years ago. There was a lot of hugging and laughing. And there were new friends to make as well.

I was quite happy to drink myself a wee bit silly on Glenlivet and waters, interspersed with a couple of glasses of Veuve Cliquot. Yeah... they had a very nicely stocked bar also.

But... the best part was just hanging out with Kris, Victor, Chad, Buffy, Wende, Dave, Stacey, Jared, Michelle and a couple of other old friends whose names I'm brainfreezing on right this moment. Well... there was another really good part also... a new friend who I met midway through the party who may have monopolized the rest of my evening perhaps (and the greater part of the rest of the weekend...). You're not getting any more info on that... except that I certainly hope to see him again when time permits... and, gee.. um... to mention that maybe they shouldn't have gotten me a hotel room after all, since I didn't sleep in it...

When I arrived home from work today, I had an email from Poppy, asking me if the story she just posted on her website could possibly be true. I immediately doubted that it could be true. So, I did something that couldn't possibly have ever occurred to anyone else to do... I picked up the phone and called all the local B&N stores and asked to check to see if they had the book in stock.

Well, golly gee... of the four stores in the New Orleans/Baton Rouge area, two of them had the book in stock. Those two being the larger more urban stores as opposed to the much smaller other two.

And unless I missed a memo about the annexation of New Orleans by New York or California, I'm thinking that this book has evidently been stocked in Barnes & Noble stores outside of those two states.

I'm quite vexed by lefty goths deciding that the Evil Corporation that is B&N is out to get them considering the fact that of late, the right wing fringe-types spend a lot of time obsessing over the fact that we're evidently trying to keep conservative books out of the hands of the public.

Let's review a couple of facts. B&N as a chain is very committed to making any book that you want available to you. Censorship of any type simply isn't part of the culture of the stores. Almost every book published makes it onto our shelves. Do a few slip between the cracks? Sure. Does every book make it into every store? Nope. The larger, two (or more) level stores get a much larger selection than the smaller one level stores.

Shockingly, my store even employs a goth and a couple of near-goths. And every Friday evening, a local group of them meet outside our cafe for coffee (which I'm pretty sure they purchase instead of stealing).

And the idea that a book would not be stocked because it would be stolen is ridiculous. I'm very familiar with shrink numbers for specific departments and trust me, there are entire sections and authors we'd have to remove from our shelves permanently if that were a factor in buying decisions. And I have a very hard time imagining that a buyer for B&N would make such an unprofessional statement to anyone at the publisher. Shame on them if they did. But... I doubt it happened.

Anyways... I hope my incredibly complicated experiment with phoning stores (I know... I know... I'm a little more brilliant than most people...) puts some minds at rest.

The Goth Bible is most certainly available in B&N stores outside of New York and California. As is Unfit for Command...

I am so ashamed to be a resident of Louisiana today. I love New Orleans so much, but I've always been ambivalent about the state itself. But, realistically... is there a state in the union today where we are not so hated that a similar ban would not pass?

Hate... that's what it's about. And fear. I'm feared and hated by the majority of the people I pass in the street every day. Nice...

I'm sitting here drinking grapefruit vodka and 7-Up, slightly freaked out because I've decided to stay in New Orleans for Ivan. 90% of my friends have left for Texas, but I feel weird work and dog responsibilities that keep me here. And I just don't think that we're probably going to get the worst of the storm.

Of course... if I'm wrong... I could find myself underneath 20 feet of water around 30 hours from now... but... I guess we'll see...

Kind sirs, be assured I am alive and well. Of late I find myself quite discouraged at the thought or producing any discourse of note. However, I feel impelled to make a brief appearance to point out at the most interesting occurence... Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell is currently residing as the #2 bestseller on Amazon and the #3 bestseller on Barnes & Noble.com.

Don't be left out... get a first printing while you can still find one in the stores...